Finding out you’re going to become a father can bring up a lot of emotions. You may feel excited about meeting your child but also nervous about the responsibility ahead. If the pregnancy was unexpected, you may be wondering whether you are ready emotionally and financially.
You do not need to have all the answers today. Taking time to understand what you’re feeling, seek support, and make a realistic plan can help you prepare for fatherhood.
The Center for Women is here to help you. Even though we offer free pregnancy services for women, including pregnancy testing and limited OB ultrasounds, we also offer support for fathers through our Hero Dads Program.
Schedule an appointment at the center today to talk with our advocates or call (828) 885-7885.
Give Yourself Time to Process the News
There is no single way you are supposed to feel when you find out you’re going to become a father. You might feel happy, surprised, worried, or unsure.
Instead of ignoring those feelings, give yourself time to process the news. Think about what becoming a father means to you and what concerns are weighing on your mind.
It can also help to separate what you know from what you are simply worried might happen. You may not yet know exactly how your finances, schedule, or relationships will change, but that does not mean you cannot prepare.
During this time, you can also reflect on the type of father you want to be. Ask yourself questions such as: What qualities do you want to bring into your relationship with your child? What values do you want to model? What kind of relationship do you hope to build with your child?
Seek Support From People With Experience
You do not have to figure out fatherhood on your own. Talking with someone you trust who has experience as a father can give you a chance to ask questions and hear what fatherhood is really like. You can also connect with our center for mentoring and support.
In our Hero Dads Program, you will meet with other new dads in the same situation to help build confidence. Our group is designed especially for men to grow and become successful fathers.
Having someone to talk to can also remind you that becoming a father is a process. You will continue learning as your child grows.
Learn About the Material Assistance Available
Preparing financially for a baby does not necessarily mean paying for everything yourself.
If you choose to parent, you will be surprised at the amount of assistance available to you. Many community organizations offer resources for families, and The Center for Women also provides material assistance through its Earn While You Learn program.
By enrolling in our Bright Courses education classes and completing lessons, you and your partner can earn points toward items such as maternity and baby clothes, baby furniture and equipment, and other necessities.
In addition to our material assistance, we also provide referrals for medical care. You can learn about government assistance and programs, housing, and more. A few of the government assistance programs available include North Carolina Work First (TANF) Family Assistance and the North Carolina Child Care Subsidy Program, which provides child care assistance.
Make a Plan for Fatherhood
Once you have had time to process the news and gather information, start thinking about what you can do now.
Begin with an honest look at your finances. Consider your income, regular expenses, existing debts, and what you may need to spend on pregnancy, childbirth, and your child’s needs. Even small changes to your budget can help you prepare for additional expenses.
It can also be helpful to think beyond money. Talk with the baby’s mother about expectations and responsibilities, including where you will live, how you will share parenting responsibilities, and how you can support each other.
Think about your work schedule and the practical changes that may come with having a child. Consider who you can turn to for help and what you may need to arrange before the baby arrives.
You do not need a perfect plan. The goal is to understand what lies ahead and begin preparing for the changes.
You Don’t Have to Have Everything Figured Out
Becoming a father is a major change, and it is normal to have questions about whether you are ready. Being unsure about some of these things does not mean you cannot become a responsible and involved father.
Start with what you can control. Learn about your circumstances, ask questions, seek support, and make a plan based on the resources available to you.
If you are facing an unexpected pregnancy and want a confidential place to talk through your questions, we can offer support at our center, as well as free pregnancy services for your partner so she can find out more about her pregnancy.
We are here to take each step with you. Contact us to make your appointment.